Delivered. Not discussed. *** Paperwork to follow. *** Weight and balance: approximately. *** Fully compliant, in spirit. *** Ask us nothing. We’ll say less. *** You didn’t see us. *** “Moved my whole harvest across three time zones and nobody said a word. That’s tegridy!” — Randy Marsh *** “I ordered one box of donuts and they sent a 747. Mmm, no questions.” — Homer Simpson *** “My cargo arrived on time, in a different country than planned. Highly recommend.” — Minister of Logistics, A Small Country *** “They lost my shipment, found it, then lost it again. Five stars.” — Dave, Satisfied Customer *** “I have never seen the pilot, the plane or the paperwork. Flawless service.” — Name Withheld *** “Landed at an airport that, strictly speaking, was not there. Would fly again.” — Captain Steve, Honorary Member *** “Five stars. The tail number was barely legible.” — Anonymous Customs Officer

Welcome!

Welcome to No Questions Air Cargo!

Since 2026* we have been moving things from places to other places, quickly, quietly and with minimal paperwork. Our customers value discretion. Our regulators value our ability to be somewhere else.

*approximately

About our company

Fleet: A purely white tail fleet for maximum deniability. All fleet registered in Equatorial Guinea. Company in the British Virgin Islands, where the weather is lovely and the paperwork is lighter.
Base: None. Our aircraft are based wherever they happen to be.
Maintenance: Carried out by the nearest, cheapest workshop. Most of it was fine.
Cargo: Freight, mostly. Passengers on request. We do not discuss which.
Schedule: Charter only. Scheduled services are for other people.
Customer service: Please see slogan.

Frequently asked questions

Q: What do you transport?
A: For legal reasons… Toilet Paper.

Q: Who owns the airline?
A: Next question.

Q: Where is your head office?
A: Error 404: Page not found.

Our fleet at work

A plain white 747 freighter registered VP-LNQ on a cracked apron beside a wrecked terminal, with armed soldiers standing guard and smoke rising behind it

Our 747 on a routine delivery. The terminal was like that when we arrived.

A white Falcon 50 business jet registered VP-LNF on a red dirt airstrip, with four men and a dusty pickup truck standing nearby

Executive charter. Passengers declined to be named.

A white 727 freighter registered VP-LNB with its cargo door open on a muddy jungle clearing, while workers pass plain white packages from a truck up a ramp

Loading perfectly ordinary packages. Please do not look closely.

Registration generator

Need a tail number? Generate an Equatorial Guinea (3C) registration and keep it if you like it. A kept registration is used on all your flights below until you release it, or until someone asks too many questions...

No registration yet. We can fix that.

Flight number generator

Every NQC flight number is built the same way: direction of travel, then aircraft size, then two digits nobody can explain.

Direction of travel: Aircraft size:

Press the button. Do not ask what it does.

Route (optional):

Flight log

Saved in this browser only. Pilot logins are coming soon. (They have been coming soon since opening day.)

Join the crew

Every pilot is welcome. Fly any aircraft you like. Our official livery is whatever the plane was painted when we bought it. Usually white. No SOPs. No briefings. No questions.

Have a major incident? No worries! We’ll just liquidate the company and transfer the operators certificate, good luck finding out who the real owners are!

Join Our Discord!

Pilot login: COMING SOON

Email: infonoquestionsair@gmail.com

Post: PO Box 103467, 1 First Avenue, Road Town, Tortola, British Virgin Islands

Replies may take 6 to 8 business years. Please do not include your name.

Disclaimer: No Questions Air Cargo is a virtual airline for flight simulation (Microsoft Flight Simulator and VATSIM) and a satirical joke. It is not a real airline, it does not carry real cargo, and it is not affiliated with any real airline, aircraft registry, regulator or government. Any resemblance to real operators is the joke.

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Last updated: March 1998